Flutter and Fly

my new bench

2008-05-21T18:15:00.005-04:00

so I'm sitting on the 3rd floor at MorningStar, surfing the internet and got hit with some writing inspiration, so here it is.

This afternoon I walked around the lake that is on the MorningStar grounds. As I was walking around, it was like I had been transported to a year ago, and allll these memories flooded through my head. See last year, when I was having a bad day, I would immediately run out to the lake and sit on this bench that was my designated bench. And I would just sit and pour my heart out to the Lord. Many secrets and tears were shared and spilled on this bench. And it was like I could remember every detail of all the conversations with the Lord. All the heartache, and pain, and all the frustration that I poured out. And I just started to weep because these past 2 years have been the absolute hardest years of my life.

But as I was crying, the Lord quietly reminded of me of how far I've come and how much I've grown since last year. And that the girl who ran to the lake every other day is no longer the same girl. She is a new creature. She is growing up into a woman. She is healing from all the wounds she exposed on that sacred bench. She is discovering hope for her life.

So I laid down on a new bench, because my old one wasn't there anymore. And I felt like that was such a picture of what the Lord has been doing in my life lately. Taking away and removing the old, but always providing something new and exciting in it's place. Requiring a change. A shift. A move. But always replacing it with something way better.

So I laid down on my new designated bench ( :) )and even though it was a new bench in a new place, it was like I was visiting a old friend. And like so many times when I visited the lake, my heart was able to breathe. And I could just feel all the hard and stiff places in my heart becoming more tender and sensitive. And once again, the water and the trees and the birds singing awoke my heart once again to the Father. And I kept asking myself why I hadn't done this sooner.

I'm a firm believer in nature being the best medicine for any ailment. There's no way to be depressed and angry and balled up inside when you're gazing at flowers, listening to birds, and feeling the sun on your skin.

There's not a real point to this blog, other than 30 min in the presence of God's creation did more good than probably 50 hours of therapy. so maybe the point is go outside. find a flower. smell it. and enjoy. :)

good vs. bad

2008-05-13T17:20:00.005-04:00

So lately I’ve been thinking about dwelling on the negative and the positive and what a difference that it makes.

The Lord has been teaching me about this concept and how bad I’m at it. I mean what is our first impulse to do when we hear bad news? We focus on the negative and don’t even try to find a positive. In fact it is culturally accepted if not encouraged to focus on the negative. And if you happen to find the positive you are usually ridiculed for being an optimist and a person who is unrealistic. If you turn on the news, you’ll find that most of it is bad, if not all of it. Turn on the radio, and most songs are about an ex bf/gf. When we talk about people, it’s usually never in a good light. If we talk about the past, it’s never in a good way.

We are a culture, a generation of negativity. Negativity sells. Which is probably why most of America is currently poppin prozac or lexapro or that anti-depressant with the weird looking cloud/bubble person. And we would say that we focus on the negative because that is all we see. That is our reality. But the Bible says in Colossians 3:1-3 “Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God’s right hand in the place of honor and power. Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth. For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.”

I absolutely 100% LOVE those verses. They are SO convicting but SO powerful.

See usually, if I’m having a bad day it’s because I’m focusing on all the bad things that happened that day or the day before or a day 10 years ago. Then suddenly I’m depressed and I have no idea why. (lol). But the Lord is teaching me to set my mind and thoughts on Him, instead of all the bad things in my life. There will always be bad things, circumstances, mistakes etc in my life. But if I choose to focus on the realities of heaven and not the realities of the earth, things in my life will start changing.

Recently the Lord told me to make a collage/mural of all the good things He did in the past two years. He told me to do this because for the past couple of months the only things I could think about was what He DIDN’T do in the past 2 years and how hard life has been lately. But because I’m a good little Christian girl I did (and am doing) what He said. So I sat down and made a list of all the good things He’s done in the past 2 years, big and small. And immediately I could feel the change in me, my attitude, the atmosphere in my room…and I realized how GOOD God is. So instead of complaining and whining to the Lord, I began to thank Him. And this little art project the Lord gave me is forcing me to see and focus on the goodness of Him and not the bad things.

So what I think is, if we can truly grab hold of this, it won’t matter what happens on earth, good or bad, our thoughts and minds will be on the realities of heaven. So when we go through tough things or difficult circumstances, we know Christ sits at the right hand of God in the place of honor and power. And all the principalities and authorities are under Christ and we have been set free from the kingdom of darkness. And we are no longer bound by our past, but have been given a new life and been made a new creation who are holy and righteous and blameless before God our Heavenly Father. And our Heavenly Father totally and completely loves us more than we could ever imagine. THAT is the realities of heaven, and THAT what I’m fixing my mind on.

seize the tomorrow

2008-03-06T18:40:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow holds so much. There so much freedom in the unknown. The possibility of whatever. The knowing that anything could happen. There's so much NEW and HOPE in a tomorrow. There is a second chance in tomorrow. A chance to forget and leave the past (the today) behind.

I LOVE that. Because most days I hate today but forget to look forward to the tomorrow. I always think that the tomorrow will bring something bad. something gloomy...it's like a dark cloud you can see coming your way. A tomorrow is a good thing. A tomorrow is a gift from God. Not a chance for God to get back at you for what you did in the today or the yesterday. It says in the b-i-b-l-e that His (that would be God) mercies are NEW every morning. As in His mercies are new in every tomorrows or todays.

We get a new start every day.

We get to pretend like today never happened in the tomorrow.

We get to make our past past.

How amazing is that? We get to hope again. Hope in things good and lovely and fun. Not dread the comings of another day of work, school, family, stress, and general crap. We get a chance to make crap into something good in the tomorrow.

I think "seize the day" should be "seize the tomorrow".

Hope again. Look towards the future expectantly. It has the possibility of being amazing.

2008-02-23T14:29:00.007-05:00