my new bench

so I'm sitting on the 3rd floor at MorningStar, surfing the internet and got hit with some writing inspiration, so here it is.

This afternoon I walked around the lake that is on the MorningStar grounds. As I was walking around, it was like I had been transported to a year ago, and allll these memories flooded through my head. See last year, when I was having a bad day, I would immediately run out to the lake and sit on this bench that was my designated bench. And I would just sit and pour my heart out to the Lord. Many secrets and tears were shared and spilled on this bench. And it was like I could remember every detail of all the conversations with the Lord. All the heartache, and pain, and all the frustration that I poured out. And I just started to weep because these past 2 years have been the absolute hardest years of my life.

But as I was crying, the Lord quietly reminded of me of how far I've come and how much I've grown since last year. And that the girl who ran to the lake every other day is no longer the same girl. She is a new creature. She is growing up into a woman. She is healing from all the wounds she exposed on that sacred bench. She is discovering hope for her life.

So I laid down on a new bench, because my old one wasn't there anymore. And I felt like that was such a picture of what the Lord has been doing in my life lately. Taking away and removing the old, but always providing something new and exciting in it's place. Requiring a change. A shift. A move. But always replacing it with something way better.

So I laid down on my new designated bench ( :) )and even though it was a new bench in a new place, it was like I was visiting a old friend. And like so many times when I visited the lake, my heart was able to breathe. And I could just feel all the hard and stiff places in my heart becoming more tender and sensitive. And once again, the water and the trees and the birds singing awoke my heart once again to the Father. And I kept asking myself why I hadn't done this sooner.

I'm a firm believer in nature being the best medicine for any ailment. There's no way to be depressed and angry and balled up inside when you're gazing at flowers, listening to birds, and feeling the sun on your skin.

There's not a real point to this blog, other than 30 min in the presence of God's creation did more good than probably 50 hours of therapy. so maybe the point is go outside. find a flower. smell it. and enjoy. :)